Firestorm
by FoREvEr ends
Summary: DISCONTINUED! What with financial troubles, a cousin close to death, and the pressure of doing well in school... I thought life was as bad as it could get. But obviously, my friend and sort of enemy just HAVE to help me boost my standards.
1. Prologue: Numb

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the setting. I own the plot and any character not seen in Rowling's books. Plus the poem isn't by me; it's by J.L. McCreery, as I've written below.

**A/N: This is the sequel to Hidden Flames! (READING OF HIDDEN FLAMES RECOMMENDED) Please enjoy! Thanks to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter of Hidden Flames. I'm not up to doing individual reviews right now though.  
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**---Prologue: Numb---**

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A light breeze lifted a few strands of my hair off my forehead, trying in vain to stir the still, sultry, summer air. Despite the heat, I was shivering and sweating at the same time. I was dressed in a plain black dress that didn't quite bring "mourning" to mind. Shifting uncomfortably in my seat, I tried to still my quaking limbs.

Glancing around me, I saw all the other people… friends of Tracy and David, hanging onto each other, taking comfort from another. Tears streamed silently down their faces, and many of them were openly sobbing. I touched my own face—it was completely dry. A burning feeling in my heart started and wound its way up to my throat.

I was sitting right on the edge, surrounded by people I didn't know and didn't care about. I didn't have anyone whose shoulder I could cry on, who'd lend me strength or soothe my pain. I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling a sharp stab of loneliness through the thick blanket of grief.

I watched in silence as the as some person read off sentences from a piece of paper. I saw his mouth moving, but none of his words reached me. It didn't matter anyway. No words could put a death to my pain, or make Tracy and David come back.

This was all… so surreal. I was standing out here in the bright summer sunshine… standing in a cemetery filled with neat rows of gray headstones surrounded by blooming summer flowers, watching other people sob their hearts out in an attempt to express their grief. I saw the rows of coffins, the freshly dug holes in the ground; I knew what was going to become of those. And yet… it still seemed unreal. It was just so hard to believe—to accept—that two such important people in my life weren't going to be there anymore, that today was the day when they would be put to rest—in other words, _gotten rid of_, along with many others.

This wasn't happening to me. This _couldn't_ be happening to me. Tracy and David… I could count on them. I actually appreciated them for all that they were among the group classified as untrustworthy adults. And they… they trusted me, cared about me, took care of me as if I were their daughter. They had made me feel wanted again… they had shown me what it felt like to have a family—a real family. And now their bodies were to be put in the ground…

And Melanie…. How could this happen to Melanie? She was more than my cousin—she was my sister. She always had a smile on her face for me, she had listened to my rants, she laughed so contagiously… and she loved me so unconditionally. And now… now her face was stilled and her laughter stopped… her once lithe and graceful body was barely alive. And even if she did wake up from her coma, there was no guarantee that she'd remember anything, or be herself, or ever be able to dance again.

That was a thought I couldn't stand. Melanie had done nothing—_nothing_!—to deserve this!

I wished I could take their place. I wished I could be the one being lowered into the ground, or the one lying in a coma… I just wanted Tracy and David and Melanie to just be happy, to have a smile and a laugh, to _live_.

It left a great, gaping hole in my heart, a raw wound that refused to heal, a terrible, yawning void. I couldn't fill it; I couldn't appease it. I tried covering it up—but it only worked for so long. During the day, when the light was shining and I still had a hard time believing that all of it had happened, I could keep everything at bay, and keep the hole from swallowing me up and casting me into an ocean of grief and pain. But during the night… there was no light. There was no hope. There was only the darkness, the soft, taunting darkness of death, and then everything would come crashing down so hard that I couldn't even find an outlet in tears.

I wanted to cry so hard, for so long, just to let all my pain drain away… but I just couldn't. I wanted to scream my rage at the world, rant, crush, raze, devastate… but I couldn't. I wanted to do something, anything, but it seemed as if I was on hold, frozen, numb.

I circled my arms even more tightly around myself in an effort to stop my shaking, to no avail. In fact, it only worsened.

And then Fiona, my perfect little half-sister, stepped out of the crowd. I could see her blonde hair glinting in the bright sunshine, her white skin glowing with a beautiful healthy color.

I wanted to dredge up the hate I knew I felt towards her, as I had done so easily so many times before… but now I couldn't do even that. How could she just go up there to speak about Tracy and David when she had never taken the time to know them? How could she still pretend to be Little Miss Perfect? And how could I just sit here and listen to her, not caring enough to go rip her hair out like she deserved…

"So…" Fiona's voice cracked a bit. I sneered at her, silently willing her to just make a complete fool of herself.

"We… I guess we all sometimes wish that things didn't turn out the way they do," she continued, her voice squeaking a bit. Her gaze swung in my direction for a moment. "But… they do, and everyone has to cope with it."

Whoopee. What a great revelation.

"When I found out about this… well, needless to say, I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe. I mean, life is all about living, right? Nothing bad is ever supposed to happen—no one should ever be taken away for good.

"Despite what some people think, I really did care about Tracy and David." I rolled my eyes. "I don't really know what I can say about them that wouldn't disrespect them… because I can't pretend like I knew them well when I didn't. I liked them… just—just _because_. They were both so nice and understanding, and they accepted me, even though they knew that I shouldn't be there."

_You shouldn't be_ _HERE_, I thought.

I was so sure… so sure that nothing could be right, that nothing was going to get better.

"But then I found this poem. It makes death sound like paradise… and maybe it is. At least, I hope it is. It's called 'There is No Death,' by J. L. McCreery."

Fiona cleared her throat before starting on the poem in a slightly cracked voice.

"_There is no death! The stars go down_

_To rise upon some fairer shore,_

_And bright in heaven's jeweled crown_

_They shine forevermore. _

_There is no death. The dust we tread_

_Shall change beneath the summer showers_

_To golden grain or mellow fruit_

_Or rainbow-tinted flowers. _

_The granite rocks disorganize_

_To feed the hungry moss they bear;_

_The forest leaves drink daily life_

_From out the viewless air. _

_There is no death; the leaves may fall,_

_The flowers may fade and pass away—_

_They only wait through wintry hours_

_The coming of the May. _

_There is no death! An angel form_

_Walks o'er the earth with silent tread;_

_He bears our best-loved things away,_

_And then we call them "dead."_

_He leaves our hearts all desolate—_

_He plucks our fairest, sweetest flowers;_

_Transplanted into bliss, they now_

_Adorn immortal bowers. _

_The bird-like voice, whose joyous tones_

_Made glad this scene of sin and strife,_

_Sings now in everlasting song,_

_Amid the tree of life. _

_And where he sees a smile bright,_

_Of hearts too pure for taint and vice,_

_He bears it to that world of light,_

_To dwell in Paradise. _

_Born into that undying life,_

_They leave us but to come again;_

_With joy we welcome them—the same _

_Except in sin and pain. _

_And ever near us, though unseen,_

_The dear immortal spirits tread;_

_For all the boundless Universe_

_Is life—there are no dead."_

My body was quaking even more hard than before. The soothing words that had rolled of Fiona's tongue sounded so sweet and so true… for a moment I could actually believe her; for a moment I actually forgot all the hate I harbored against her. All I could think about was how sweet and melodious her voice was, how the words seemed to almost—mean something to me in a way that nothing had in a such a long time.

But then the spell was broken. Fiona heaved a great shuddering sigh and headed back into the crowd—where Diana put her arm around her. I felt subdued anger when I saw Henry—yes, Henry Prewitt, my dumbass father—stand up and walk until he was right next to David's coffin. The burning feeling, one that I had been feeling for so long now, intensified sharply, and I had the insane urge to go and rip Henry's throat out before he could speak any words about David.

Instead, I had to settle on glaring at him.

He cleared his throat roughly. "I… well, I don't know quite what to say. David was my younger brother, and when I was young, I loved him. But that was when things were different. We… could get close, we could talk, and we could laugh together. As we got older, he turned out to be the "more perfect" son. And I began to hate him for his perfection, for his caring, for how he always seemed to shine brighter than I did. Yes, it was sibling rivalry. Even when we grew up and he moved away, I was always painfully aware of how he had such a better life than me.

"When he married Tracy, I was there for their wedding. I saw how happy he was…and I begrudged him of that, since my own wife had died."

I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands so hard that I felt the stinging pain of my fingernails digging into my skin. That was my _mother_ he was talking about, the mother I had never known, the mother I'd only seen in photographs, the one with golden eyes that mirrored my own. If he had ever, _ever_ loved Susan Prewitt, then he should have never been able to hurt me.

And this wasn't confession time. It was a time to honor Tracy and David, not to talk about his own experiences!

"And I had never hated him more than when he was granted custody of my children last year."

I didn't even try to repress my laugh at that. It had just risen up so unexpectedly in my burning throat, and soon I was bitterly laughing at the cruelty and lies of the world. He was acting like he actually cared!

Now that was rich.

Henry was still talking. "But now I see why he had everything I ever wanted. Because he truly cared; he was always laughing and compassionate, and…"

Several people looked at me in horror and disgust at my bout of laughter, and Henry's gaze swung right around to meet mine. My laughter died as suddenly as it had come, and I sneered at him before spitting on the ground to show what I thought of him. Then I got out of my seat and stalked off across the cemetery. I wasn't going to stick around and listen to Henry spout a bunch of insincere lies about Tracy and David. I wasn't going to stand for that.

I could hear the whispers of disapproval behind me, but I didn't care. I didn't care about any of that anymore. I sped by the gray headstones and beautiful arrays of rainbow flowers. The sight of those just made me want to puke. The world didn't deserve to be this beautiful, not when it was all a layer of sham. Underneath it all was just pure, barren hopelessness, despair, unfairness, and—inevitably—death.

Some of the gravestones were so old that their shape and engraved words were starting to wear away. Time was so unmerciful.

This made me break into a run, and soon I spotted a tall tree with long, drooping branches. A weeping willow. A crying tree, one perfectly suited to a graveyard and for my purposes.

I batted the branches aside and flung myself down near the trunk of the tree. The graceful branches enclosed me in a quiet embrace, welcoming me into the tree's bower. Yet, even in here, I couldn't cry. I couldn't let my tears out. Something in me refused to break, to let me show my weakness, even when there was no one to see.

So I stared dry-eyed at the ground in front of me.

Strange how things just kept on looking normal and okay when it really wasn't. Like how the grass was green. It was green and alive when it should be dead and dried out and brown. And how time kept on moving forward when I wanted it to stop.

Time—that pitiless, merciless, driving force—never stops for anyone.

I let my mind wander and go blank as I stared at the ground, dimly aware of the sunlight turning from bright yellow to a dull red-orange.

Then I finally picked myself up shakily and peeked out from the willow branches into the distance. All the people had gone, and I knew without seeing that there were many new graves covered with a fresh layer of dirt. I slowly stepped out of the comforting embrace of the willow tree and made my way over to the two newest additions to the cemetery.

With every step I took, my feet felt heavier and heavier. I knew that looking at a certain two of those headstones would truly mean the end of all my denial, all my refusals.

I finally came to a stop in front of those two headstones, newly engraved.

I let my legs go slack, falling onto my knees before the headstones.

"Why did you have to go?" I whispered, stretching a hand to trace the letters. "Why?"

"What will I do now? What can I do?" I let my hand drop. "I wish I could see you two one more time. I never did get to tell you how much I appreciated you two, how much… how much I… love you." I nearly choked on that word, and the burning sensation in my throat and heart intensified.

"You showed me what a real family is like. Please… I don't want to go on. I don't want to go back to Henry and Diana… I don't want to be alone again…. For a little while, I actually thought that I had a family, that there was a place I could always come back to …"

The air was still and heavy as I stared at the gravestones.

"I… I promise I'll take care of Melanie," I started once again. "You won't have to worry about her. She'll… she'll be fine. I won't let Henry and Diana take her. I won't let them take me! I'm seventeen now, old enough to be considered an adult. I'll—I'll work for money. I'll take guardianship of Melanie. You won't ever have to worry about her. You know I love her like I couldn't ever love Fiona. Don't you?" I swallowed hard.

"And… and…" by now I was running out of things to say. I rested my head on Tracy's headstone, letting the cold of the stone seep into my cheek.

I felt so empty, so lost, so alone. How small and insignificant I was—even though I was sure my grief was so great that the whole world should be able feel it.

How could anybody do this? How could someone be so cruel as to wipe out the whole town, leaving so many people broken and dead and grieving?

A shudder ran through me.

Voldemort.

It was Voldemort and his Death Eaters that had done this. The numbness I was feeling was overcome with a rage so hot and fierce that I physically felt the need to kill something, to hurt something so badly that it wouldn't be able to move. I bit my lips hard and clenched my hands, waiting for the rocking anger to leave me. And it did; it slowly ebbed away.

I still felt hot and feverish, but I didn't care.

"I promise you," I whispered harshly, my voice sounding raw and cracked. "I promise the both of you… I will avenge you. Those people are going to pay. I will hunt them down, every single one, and kill them. I'm going to make them pay. I'm not going to let them get away with this. Do you know how many more people they are going to kill?" I paused.

"You don't need to answer that. It's a rhetorical question." I smiled bitterly for a moment. They couldn't answer me anyways. " I'm going to do anything in my power to make a difference. I'll _kill_ them."

I got up, casting a dark glance at the blood-red setting sun. I looked down at the graves once more. They looked so lonely.

So this was seriously all I had left of Tracy and David….

"I'll be there for Melanie, though. I'll always be there for her as long as she needs. You don't have to worry about her…. Honest. I'll try to take care of… of everything."

**ll--A Few Weeks Later--ll**

"Damn it!" I swore, looking around my room in the Leaky Cauldron for a clean shirt that I could wear. I had clean forgotten that I was to meet with Henry and Diana today for one last overview of any legal issues that still hadn't been taken care of, and now I was late. I had decided to indulge myself and slept in today, since it was a Sunday, and now look where it got me!

"What does fate have against me?" I growled to myself.

Finally, after digging down to the deepest corners of my trunk, I found a clean, presentable shirt and threw it on. I quickly ran a brush a few times through my hair and took a fast peek at the old dingy mirror in the bathroom. I sighed upon seeing my disheveled appearance, but proceeded to gather my things. It was only Henry and Diana, anyway.

I thumped downstairs in a rush, and I could see that Henry, Diana, and Fiona were already there, sitting at a table. Squaring my shoulders to give the semblance of confidence, I made my way over there and took a seat.

"Hello." Fiona was the first to break the awkward silence between the four of us with a nervous voice. I inclined my head to her.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I lied.

"_0h, its perfectly alright, darling! We are so _happy_ to see you! How HAVE you been?" Diana gushed_. No, she actually didn't. This is what she really said.

"Humph."

I rolled my eyes. "Let's get to the real issues, shall we?"

An hour later, we were still arguing. "I told you, I'm old enough to have custody of Melanie," I snapped, already quite irritated. "I'm seventeen, I have two jobs, and I care about her more than you two shitheads do."

"Your income won't sustain Melanie's hospital bills," Henry said angrily. "Especially when you go back to school."

"I'll find a way," I shot back. "Besides, you already have custody of Fiona. What more do you want?" I didn't really care about what happened to Fiona. The court, having found Henry clear of an alcohol addiction and truly repentant, granted him full custody of her, seeing as he had never abused _her_.

"We want to help Melanie," he said determinedly.

"Well, what if she doesn't want your help?" I slammed my hands on the table, ignoring the sting and other people glancing around at me.

"You wouldn't know the answer to that," Diana said.

"I know her better than you do," I hissed. "And I know that she thinks you are the scum of the earth for what you did!"

At this, Henry froze and looked satisfyingly remorseful. "I just want to help in any way. I could help pay for her bills."

I knew a compromise when I heard one. Besides, the bitter truth was that I couldn't possibly make enough money to pay off all of Melanie's St. Mungo bills. I nodded curtly. "But I still have custody."

"Yes."

"Then I guess we're done here," I declared. "I hope this is the last time I ever have to talk to you lot."

As I pushed back my chair and prepared to leave to go… wherever, Fiona's voice called me back.

"Wait," she said, a bit desperately. I think.

Sighing, I turned around and lifted an eyebrow at her.

"Will we ever see you again?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'm positive you won't," I said flatly.

"But, Faye…"

"_Don't say my name_!" I whipped my head around to glare at her. "Don't you pretend like you deserve to say my name!"

"…Please… just forgive and forget."

Oh ho, that was funny. I laughed hollowly at her.

"Now that's an overused line," I laughed. "Listen carefully, _Fee_. I'm about to teach you a life lesson. Some things just can't be forgiven. And even if some things are forgotten, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're forgiven."

"Maybe we could just try and fix up the problem, as a family. Because isn't that what family members owe one another?" she went on, her eyes imploring. Now where did the spiteful Fiona go? It was easier to deal with her than this new, trying-to-be-caring Fiona.

"And I want to try to make up for the things I did," Henry put in. "Please, just give me a chance. I've changed, I really have."

I leveled a fierce glare at him. "I don't need to give you another chance. I don't need _you,_ period. When I might have needed you, you taught me not to. Don't you _get it_?"

"I can explain myself; please, I can tell you why I—"

"Save it," I cut Henry off flatly. "I don't need to know why. All that matters is that you _did_. You always have a choice, and despite what things might have happened… you still chose to do what you did. Over and over again. You think you've really changed that much in one measly year? You think you're really that different?" I paused. "Well, I guess Fiona here will be the one to find out. Not me. Because that part of my life is done, and I'm not going back."

"If you'll just let me…" Henry tried again. I stared at him grimly, studying his flat nose, the permanently etched frown on his forehead, his wide mouth, and his salt-and-pepper colored hair… and I could find no shred of forgiveness.

"I'm not a nice person, Henry," I stated. "In fact, I'm a really horrible bitch. Really, all I'm asking for is you guys to clear the hell out of my life. And… okay…. Thanks for helping with Melanie's bills. But that's the only thanks you'll ever drag out of me." The 'thanks' nearly choked me.

After a moment of silence, Henry bowed his head. "Okay…" Then he stood up to leave, and Diana and Fiona followed suit. They filed past me.

As Fiona passed, I was sure that she whispered, "I'm sorry."

When they were nearly at the door, Henry hesitated, and looked back at me. Then he walked back.

Good Lord, what was it _now_?

"If you wanted to know… our flight is next Monday at four. Just in case you might…" he trailed off, his voice low.

"Want to see you guys off?" I finished sarcastically. "Fat chance."

"And…" Henry dug in his jacket pocket and came out with a slim book, which he put on the table. "I regret not being the father I should have been."

I snorted.

To my surprise, he slammed a fist down on the table. "Just listen to me, alright? Just this once… and then I'll be out of your life for good! I owe you an explanation as to _why_. It was because of Susan." I froze at the mention of my mom.

"I lied to you when I told you that Susan died in childbirth. She didn't. After you were born… she committed suicide. Right in front of me. Said she was tired of life, tired of trying to find something to live for. Said that she had a hole that I couldn't fill…. And she told me that she had hoped that your birth would give her the will to live, but it didn't. And her last words weren't 'I love you, Henry.' You know what they were?" Henry's voice had a bitter edge in it.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"'Take care of Faye, and tell her I'm sorry,'" he said. "So… you should know that it was then when I started to hate you. You were the daughter that Susan couldn't love enough to make her stay, but she still gave you priority over me. That's why. You failed me. You didn't have her love… and I couldn't give you mine. I realize how stupid I was back then. I know I can't fix my mistakes anymore. It's too late. But I just wanted you to know.

"And for what it's worth… I really did love your mother."

I was rooted to the ground, and the room was spinning around me. As Henry turned to leave, I mustered just enough sense to ask him the one thing he hadn't told me.

"How did she die?" I croaked.

He turned around and looked at me through sad eyes. Behind him, I saw Diana and Fiona waiting. "Jumped from the hospital roof."

And then they were gone. My pseudo-family had just left my life, and I couldn't muster up any happiness. I'd imagined this moment for my whole life, and what I was feeling now wasn't how I wanted to feel.

I had never given much thought to my mom since… since ages ago. When I was small, I had thought to blame myself for killing her. And then after Andrew was through with me, I started to believe that my mother had loved me, and that it wasn't my fault that she had died giving birth to me. I did believe it. I gloried in the idea that she had loved me unconditionally, just because I was her daughter.

But now Henry was telling me that my mother had never loved me at all.

I plopped down on a chair and stretched out a shaking hand towards the book Henry had put down. It was an album. I flipped it open to the first page, and there she was. My mother.

Susan was beautiful. She was laughing and playing with her black, curly hair, her gold eyes crinkled with delight. She looked… like me. And now I hated her. I hated her, and I hated myself. I slammed the album shut without looking at any more pictures and walked back to my room, where I threw it into my trunk.

Then I sank onto my bed and stared at the ceiling blankly. I supposed I should be feeling angry or hurt or just… pain. I should have that prickling feeling at the corner of my eyes, as I'd had for so many days now… but I wasn't. I felt alarmingly blank, void.

It was probably better like this. Now maybe I could just… forget my pain. Leave all my feelings behind and just… just become…

Numb. Numb to it all.

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**I'm sorry if this is crap. I've had a really high fever for four days now, and it was hard to do the last fix-ups on this chapter. Please read and review!**  



	2. Chapter 1: What Could Have Been

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the setting and everything that you see in the Harry Potter books. Thanks to Rowling for a brilliant world to write of. However, I do own a few original characters and ideas. If anything in here seems related to another story/fanfic, sorry! It's really not.

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**---Chapter One: What Could Have Been---**

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"Look over here, Faye."

I did as the cameraman ordered and turned my face towards the blinding light to where I knew the camera was situated.

"Smile a bit more. Cute, remember? You breathe cute, you see cute, you hear cute… you _are_ cute."

What a dork. Nevertheless, I forced my aching cheeks into an even wider smile, hoping that it didn't look as fake as I felt.

"Great. Keep that smile…."

My cheeks were screaming at me to stop the torture.

"Just three more! Hold still. That's it!"

Oh, goodie. Just three more pictures to take before I could let my body melt into the pile of boneless junk it was begging to become.

"And… we're done! Nice work today, Faye."

I relaxed my cheeks, immensely relieve that today's shoot was finally over. Thank the bloody lord. I was aching all over, and so tired that I could hardly keep my eyes open. My limbs were heavy with fatigue, and the pats of encouragement and voices of satisfaction kept sliding in and out of focus, like a badly tuned radio. And… oh, my cheeks. I swear I was going to get wrinkles by 20 if I kept on smiling that much. I needed some rest….

But _no_…. I couldn't go rest yet. I still had to go and hustle on to my next job. Slowly, wearily, I packed up my things, at the same time loosening my hair in the do it had been up in. God, these styling hair people had some strong spells if they could get the thick bush I call my hair up in a do for several hours. My hair was now a bit past my shoulders after I'd had to hack most of it off when a stupid kid, Derek, spat gum in it.

"You looked great today, Faye," a light cheery voice at my shoulder said. Normally, I would have whipped around in alarm, but now my limbs were too dead to manage anything but a slight twitch.

"If you say so, Maggie," I sighed with the air of someone putting up with an annoying pet. Well, essentially I was. I was very reluctant to turn around to face the stunningly gorgeous and buoyant face of Maggie Hennessey. I was not in the mood to look at more smiles. In fact, I was ready to kill if I could only wipe her smile off her face. It was always there, always pasted over her perfect features. It was so frustrating to have a happy person around when my life was so far from happy. Especially when the said happy person was as brainless as an empty peanut shell.

Heaving another great sigh, I stuffed the rest of my things into my dingy bag before slinging onto my shoulders. Giving a half-hearted wave to a bouncing Maggie, I trudged out of the bright studio filled flashing cameras and brilliant lights.

Maybe I was going to go blind before I was 20 as well. I couldn't bloody focus on anything after those lights!

I rubbed my eyes and slipped out the door into the crowded Diagon Alley, fighting my way past busybodies who seemed to have not a care in the world.

How I hated them.

I didn't care that I was being bitter and jealous and hateful by wishing unhappiness on others just because I was so miserable. I _was_ entitled to have my own thoughts and feelings.

Once I reached my job at Florean Fortesque's Ice Cream Parlor, I dumped my things in the little locker room provided for employees and changed into the serving uniform—the unbearably short skirt and jaunty cap.

I walked out and took my place at the front counter, relieving my coworker—what was her name again?—from her shift.

The minutes trickled away slowly. Before even half an hour had gone by, my legs were feeling sore already. The tick-tocking of the clock on the counter was driving me insane. It was as bad as the long line of people waiting to place their orders. I worked mechanically—smile, ask for their order, write it down, and move on. It was like a dream.

So when someone addressed me about something not related to ice cream, I didn't respond at first.

"That's a really short skirt you have on. Prewitt."

My head jerked up when I heard my name. The person I saw was one who I hadn't thought about at all in the weeks following the Incident.

Sirius Black stared back at me, a mocking smile tugging on the corner of his mouth. He looked just the same as ever: handsome dark eyes, casually falling black hair, and the most perfect face I had ever seen on any male specimen. I opened my mouth to give a retort—but I had nothing. My mind blanked out on me as it took a nice little trip down memory lane, leaving me to gape like a fish.

The last time I had thought about him and my failed self-improvement program…

The last time I saw his face…

The last time I heard his voice…

"Aw… you're so happy to see me that you can't find the words to express your joy," he said, a sardonic edge to his voice.

And I just gaped at him some more, making the customers in the back starting complaining. This jerked my mind back to the present.

"Can I take your order?" I sighed, choosing to ignore his comment.

"Yes, I think you can." He grinned at me.

Nitwit.

"_May_ I take your order?" I grated out.

"Yes, you may. Hm… I think I'd like a double scoop fizzing strawberry sundae."

Just as I was about to tap the menu box to alert the ice cream maker's of the new order, Sirius spoke up.

"Actually, on second thought… I think I'd like a blueberry swirl pop."

"Are you sure?" I asked tiredly.

"Yes… wait, no! The popping cookie dough sundae is obviously the one for me." Sirius smiled at me cheekily while I resisted the urge to slap him. The urge wasn't that hard to resist, since my arm didn't feel up to it.

"Anything else?" I couldn't even summon a frown for Sirius! What was wrong with the world!

"No. But I'll let you know once I decide." His grin hadn't gone, and he leaned in over the counter towards me, in what he probably supposed was a sexy pose. "And I want _you_ to serve it to me."

"Whatever, Black," I sighed. "Now can you please move so that I can help the other customers?"

He stared at me, and I could tell that he was surprised from the way his eyebrow twitched. _Surprised at what_, I wondered. But the job didn't offer the luxury of thinking time, and soon after Sirius left the counter, my mind went back to computer mode. I didn't want to think about what Sirius was trying to do… annoying me like this. I needed this job, so I couldn't afford to get riled up at him.

"Faye!" I heard my manager call my name.

"What is it, Florean?" I turned around wearily to look at him.

"That guy over there." He jerked his head, and my eyes followed the direction, only to land on… Sirius Black. "He wants you to serve him."

"Why?" I asked exasperatedly. "My job's at the counter."

"I'll put Sophie up here," he assured me. Damn him. "Now scat. Besides, he looks like a nice boy. Perhaps he's just very taken with you. Go have some fun. Best do it before you get too old and lose those looks." Florean _winked_ at me. I appreciated his understanding of younger people… but in a situation like this it was just creepy.

So I had no choice but to get his order and give it to him.

Walking up to one Sirius Black, who was still sitting ice cream-less at a table, I practically dropped his ice cream down in front of him. "What's with this, Black?" I asked.

He grinned up at me innocently. "Nothing. I'm just enjoying some ice cream and a beautiful waitress." I gave him a Look, since I felt too tired to really do any physical activity. "I'm not bothering you at all."

Rubbing my temples to try to ease the growing headache there, I sighed deeply. I looked up and prepared to beg him to lay off. "Listen, Black. I don't know why you're here, trying to pretend like we're mates or whatever, and frankly, I don't care. But what I _do_ care about is my job. I need this money. So will you please, please, _please_ just… leave me alone?"

After I was done with my plea, I stuck a spoon into his ice cream, avoiding his eyes all the while. "Enjoy, and please come back soon," I said in a fake, jovial voice, quite aware that Florean could be watching my conduct. Then I left to pick up more orders.

The next time I looked around for Sirius, he was gone.

ll----ll

It was only a few days since I had seen Sirius, but I had managed to push all thoughts of him out of my mind.

"Faye?" a soft voice asked. I barely heard it over the general bustle and chatter of the ice cream parlor.

I turned around wearily and searched the room for anyone whom I might recognize. Surprisingly, my gaze landed on Lily Evans. She looked the same as ever, a friendly smile on her pale, freckled face, and her back ramrod straight with her hands folded neatly on the table. I felt, as I was standing there in my uniform with a bowl of ice cream in my hands, a tad bit embarrassed.

"You work here?" Lily asked. Even though there was a smile on her face, I felt… stupid. And unbearably exposed.

"Yeah." I shifted uncomfortably.

"Does this mean that I get free ice cream?" She had obviously noticed my tension, and her light tone seemed a bit forced.

I grinned in spite of myself. "Do I look like I'm made out of money? And I don't like you _that_ much." We laughed together, and the tension was broken.

"Well, I shouldn't keep you here," Lily said regretfully. "You should get back to your job."

"Actually," I said, glancing at the clock on the wall, "my shift's almost over. Wait for me?" I didn't know why I asked her to wait. It just… spilled out of me. I didn't want to go back to my empty room in the Leaky Cauldron and just… sit there. It left too much time for thought.

Lily didn't look too surprised. "Sure."

I hurried off to finish up my work and then changed back into my normal clothes. In a few minutes, I had gathered up my things and taken a seat at Lily's table.

"When did you start working here?" Lily asked conversationally.

I shiftily cast my gaze around the room. "Few weeks back."

"Faye, are you alright?" Subtlety had never been one of Lily's strong points.

"No. I mean… no, I don't want this conversation to turn into another discussion of _my_ problems," I said. I could remember all those previous talks… with Grace, with Andrew… it had all been about _me_ and _my_ bloody problems. It wasn't going to stay that way. "So… you're here to get your school supplies?"

Lily just shot me a quizzical look that I defiantly met before she submitted. Probably because she knew I wouldn't be able to stand a verbal lashing from her. "Arabella and Alice had to leave earlier though; said something about a ball."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. When I was just about to make a reply, Lily suddenly shifted and glared. For a frightening moment, I thought she was angry with me, but then I realized—as a guy came up and offered himself a seat—that she was glaring at James Potter. I bit back a groan; I didn't want more drama.

"_Lily_," James said.

"Since when did you call me that?" she snapped.

"Since now." He winked cheekily.

"We were having a nice conversation before you came strutting in." Lily's eyes were already narrowed maliciously. Ohoho… I really didn't want to get involved in this. I was content enough to let Lily handle it.

"Oi, James, where are you?" an all-too-familiar voice called.

Ah. I should have known that James bloody Potter would never be anywhere without his trusty sidekick, Sirius sodding Black.

"Right over here!" he called. The crowd seemed to part too easily for Sirius as he came striding up with two huge ice cream cones.

"Oh, yes, just leave me to lug your ice cream around whilst you come flirt with two beautiful ladies. Thanks a lot." Sirius shoved one ice cream cone at James before sweeping a gallant bow. "Pleasant surprise seeing you two here."

I glared at him, and he seemed to falter. But then he took a seat next to James, and in the next five minutes, both boys were verbally sparring with Lily. Bored already, I figured I'd at least stay until Lily left. Do the polite thing. Ugh.

"Are you quite done yet?" Lily growled. "I didn't come here to be flagged down by you, Potter." She grabbed her bag of new supplies and turned an apologetic face to me. "I'm sorry, Faye. I just realized that my mom will blow if I'm not back soon. Don't want to give my sister another incentive to gloat. See you at school!"

"Yeah," I said glumly, gathering my things as well. "Well, with you gone, there's no good reason for me to stay." I noticed James follow Lily out of the corner of my eye, not even finishing his ice cream.

My mind was already on the problem of when I would be able to visit Melanie at St. Mungo's as I prepared to leave. But then… someone grabbed my arm. Guess who. Sirius grabbed my bag off my shoulder and fell in step next to me. And since my shoulder was aching anyway, I let him do it.

"What do you want?" I sighed tiredly.

He shrugged. "What do _you_ want?"

"What makes you think I want something?"

"You look like you're searching," he said simply.

"Well then… yes, I do want something. Money. And lot's of it. Can you give it to me?" I snapped.

He glanced at me, frowning. "I never thought you were one to want wealth."

"I don't! I just need it to—" I stopped myself and took a deep breath. "Whatever. I don't need to explain myself to you. It's not like you have the money anyway."

"True," he agreed. And we walked on in silence, until he broke it.

"Faye," he said abruptly. "I kind of want to apologize. For the last time we talked. Everything I said… I didn't mean it." Oddly, he sounded truly contrite. My mind rewound to the last time we had spoken—all the way back at the end of sixth year.

**--Flashback--**

"_You're a bloody hypocrite!" Black yelled in my face. I had to keep myself from flinching. "You tell ME not to come prancing in to be a hero, but that's exactly what you do for that undeserving git right there!" He jabbed a finger at Severus. "You think that everything you bloody do is right—you probably view the whole world as your plateful of dinner! What the f is wrong with you!_

"_And don't you dare say that my friends don't care about me. They care about me more than your pathetic excuse of a friend will ever do for you," he hissed, so quietly that I was sure only I could hear him. My legs were shaking. "Does Thompson bloody care enough about your sodding self that she's out here right now? Take a look around! She's _not_ here."_

_He was right. She wasn't here…. _

"_And do you know why?" Black whispered. I stood frozen to the spot, unable to shake my head yes or no. "Because you don't give a damn about her. One day, you're going to look back on your pathetic life and realize that's it's all your fault that you're alone."_

_Everything seemed to stop. All that was going on in the turmoil of my mind was that Black was wrong… wrong, wrong, wrong! I did care about Grace! I did!_

But not enough, _a voice whispered cruelly in the back of my mind_. Do you bother to note that she might want to talk to you? Do you bother to notice that she's been dwelling over Leah? She freaking gave up Leah for your sake… and what is your thanks? To avoid talking to her because YOU are afraid of a confrontation. Black is right, you are a self-centered, narrow-minded bitch.

_I found myself gulping back shameful tears. He was right, that damn voice was right…! I was disgusting. I was low. I was selfish. I was a disgusting human being… just like Henry and Diana and Fiona had always told me._

_Disgusting. _

_Shameful. _

_Selfish._

_Fraud. _

_Unwanted. _

_Rubbish. _

_Filth. _

_The world was spinning around me. The only thing I registered was Black's satisfied voice, with anger still laced in with his words, "You know what? Almost all the time, you leave me looking at your back, with your worthless words in my ears, eating me from inside out. This time I think I'll return the favor. Have a _spiffing_ day, Prewitt."_

**--End Flashback--**

I looked up at him miserably. "Don't apologize. You were right about me. Every last word."

Sirius actually flinched. "No, I wasn't," he insisted.

That brought a bitter laugh out of my throat. "How would you know? All you know of me is that. Hate. Rubbish. And… there's really nothing more."

Sirius stopped walking and regarded me with a strange look on his face. "That's not true."

Impatient to get back to my room and away from his company, I shook my head and made to grab my bag back. But he refused to let it go. "Yes, it is!" I snapped. "Everything you said is true, which goes to show how fucked up the world really is… LET GO OF MY BLOODY BAG, YOU SCOUNDREL!"

At this, he finally did let go, but unfortunately, I had still been pulling hard, and once he let go I went tumbling down to meet the cobblestones of the street. People passing by pointed and stared. I glared at them. "What's the matter, never seen a stalker on a mission before?" I indicated Sirius.

I got my bum off the ground and brushed myself off, regaining my composure rapidly; thank Merlin for that. And lo and behold… _he_ was still standing there, just looking at me. His next question caught me completely off guard.

"Is your sister Melanie all right? I haven't seen her in ages," he said. In a pleasant tone, like we were friends.

I closed my eyes and sought calmness. Why was he asking after Melanie now? He'd only met her once, months ago during Christmas…. "She is… she's…" I fumbled for a word, "She is as well as can be expected, given her circumstances." There. Not a lie. Why did I find it hard to lie to Sirius?

He had his head cocked to the side, eyes studying me intensely.

"Are _you_ okay?" he asked softly.

In a flash, I knew. I knew he knew. Sirius knew what happened. Maybe not the details, but he knew where I had lived… he could read newspapers. Even though I knew it hadn't mentioned any names. But he could add two and two together. I didn't want him or anyone to know; I didn't like seeing that pitying, sympathetic gaze…. This is was he had apologized for what he had said two months ago; it wasn't a sincere apology at all. He was just feeling sorry for me.

"I'm fine," I said, starting to walk back to the Leaky Cauldron. "Now leave me alone."

"Where do you live?" he asked, ignoring my dismissal of him.

What was he trying to do? What in the world did he want from me? What the _hell_ did he want! I struggled to keep calm. When I spoke, my voice didn't even tremble. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because I want to help," he said. From his tone, I knew that _he_ knew that I knew that he knew about my predicament.

"I don't need any help," I retorted. To my relief, I encountered the brick wall separating Diagon Alley from the Leaky Cauldron. "I remember telling you to leave me alone."

"Don't worry; I know you don't mean it." His tone was light, and my quick glance at him told me his eyes were trained elsewhere.

"Yes, I do!" I said, entering the Leaky Cauldron and making a break for the stairs. "Just leave me alone! We're not even friends, so don't go pretending we are. Don't think that my situation changes anything between us."

"I just want to help!" he called after me. I didn't even stop climbing the stairs.

"And I've already told you, I don't need any help," I muttered under my breath. Slamming open the door to my room, I tossed my bag carelessly onto the ground before collapsing on my bed and staring up at the ceiling, as I seemed to be doing so often these days.

I mentally sifted through my schedule. I only had free time on Sunday… so that's when I would go visit Melanie… this thought led me to reassess my situation.

As much as I wanted to deny it, I had lied to Sirius. Of course I needed help. I needed help in the form of money. I just didn't want help from _Sirius_. Because of my damnable pride. Cursing softly, I wondered what sort of help Sirius had to offer. If I met him again and he offered again, I would swallow my accursed pride and listen. Because at the moment, I needed all the bloody help I could scrounge together.

I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling fatigue drag at me. Perhaps tomorrow would be a better day, a day that didn't leave me feeling as if I were crap.

ll----ll

I sighed as I stared at my calendar. Tomorrow was Sunday. The day Fiona, Henry, and Diana would be leaving. There was a restless feeling inside me. Should I go see them off?

I dismissed the thought as soon as it entered my mind.

But still… something nagged at me. It was relentless. Perhaps I wanted to find out more about my mom. I didn't know what I wanted anymore. As usual, there was an empty feeling inside me… a feeling that just wouldn't go away. Sirius was right… I was searching. For something. I just didn't know what.

Sighing painfully, I walked out of my room and down the stairs, hoping that listening to other people would ward off this horrible feeling inside me.

But alas, alack, this didn't happen.

I wound up meeting the person I least expected. Especially on this night. Her hair shone in the dim light, and her eyes were wide with anxiety.

"Fiona." I inclined my head.

"Faye," she said back, biting her lip and looking down. "I knew I'd find you here."

"Why are you here?" I asked, feeling emotionless. Thinking back to our last meeting, Fiona's actions were starting to confuse me. Was she sincere, or was she… just trying to appease a need inside her, like almost all the people in the world….

"It's just… I know you're not coming to see us off tomorrow, and I wanted to…" She seemed to struggle with her words.

"There's nothing to say between us," I said flatly.

"Yes, there is!" she insisted. "There are so many things for me to say… I don't know where to start."

"Then don't." I shrugged and cast my gaze up at the ceiling.

"I have to."

"To soothe your own guilt," I laughed bitterly. "Everybody wants to do that."

"Look, I know what I've always done to you wasn't easy for you to go through. But you have to understand." She had a pleading expression on her face.

"Why are you explaining things now? This would have done a lot more good just a month or two ago." I was telling her the truth. In light of Tracy and David's deaths, everything else but Melanie seemed to dim and fade. And getting angry over trivial things was just a waste of energy, since in the long run… none of it mattered.

"Faye… please, I just want to say I'm sorry."

"'Sorry.' That's what everyone says," I said. "But it doesn't _change_ anything."

"Look…"

"Just shut up. I don't want to hear any of this anymore."

"You never want to hear anything." Fiona said. "You never try to understand. You always think you're in the right! Don't you ever think that there are so many reasons why people do the things they do? Situations are what make a person! And you played a part in making me who I am today!"

I stared at her. How did I make her the person she is now?

"You were so cold. From the very beginning, you decided that I was an enemy, just because Diana liked me better." She shook her head and hunched her shoulders.

"So you're saying _I'm_ the reason why _you_ made my life hell." Like anyone would buy that. She had a choice… everyone has a choice. A choice to either hurt or heal… and she chose to hurt.

"Admit it, Faye. Your attitude didn't make anything easier for me." Fiona's face was angry now.

The phrase suddenly transported me back in time. I had heard her say that before, the exact same words. For a moment, cold winter air touched my cheek, and I could feel the anger in me as Fiona, her face looking lovely even when twisted with anger, told me exactly why I had always been a bitch to her.

"I can't help but be a bitch whenever I see you watching Henry beat the crap out of me," I answered evenly. It was amazing how cold I felt. "You have no idea what I had to go through. You don't know, so stop making it seem like I should have conducted my attitude better."

"I'm sorry…. I just want closure on this," she said. Her voice was unsteady.

"We can't always get what we want," I drawled.

"I know that as well as you do."

"What have _you_ ever wanted that you couldn't have? You've always been handed everything on a silver platter," I said bitterly.

"Look past your prejudices for just a moment! That's all I'm asking. I did _not_ have everything handed to me! True… Diana did indulge me… but that doesn't mean everything was easy for me! I didn't ever—I couldn't—I couldn't—" She shook her head helplessly as words failed her.

"Couldn't what? Find it in you to stop being a bitch?" I goaded.

"No, that's you," she snapped. Then she took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm down. "I didn't come here to argue with you."

"You should have known that it was what you would end up doing."

She ignored my statement. "Do you remember when we were young?"—I didn't even deign to bother cooking up a response for that— "Diana would always pile me with presents… things I didn't need. And she refused to give you anything. That wasn't my fault, but you grouped me with Diana as an enemy…. I just—I don't know. You hated me before you or I fully understood—"

"So you're going to blame me for all the things you've—"

"No! I don't want to sound like I think it's your fault," she cut in quickly.

"Really?" I asked coolly.

"I-I don't know. But by the time I started feeling empathy for you, you were having none of me…. And then it just seemed easier to ignore you. And later… to…" Fiona stopped here, licking her lips nervously.

"To what?" I asked, even though I already knew. But I wanted to hear her say it.

"When we got to school… I got jealous of you."

I laughed harshly. "Jealous? Oh, please."

"I was! You were always so strong, no matter what Henry, Diana, and I did and said. You always did whatever you wanted, and you didn't have any expectations to live up to but your own. Beautiful, smart, brave, strong…in spite of everything. Witty… you could shoot down whoever made you angry. You were… so unbelievably strong. What I wanted, you always had… so I made myself feel better by making you feel worse," Fiona said, her voice quivering.

"But did I have parents?" I shot back. "You'll never understand what it means to be me."

"And you don't know what it's like to be me!"

Silence stretched between us for a long time after Fiona said that. I contemplated her words and tried to see what she was trying to tell me.

It was Fiona who broke the suffocating silence. "Look… I liked Tracy and David, too. But I suppose it's different for you…. I can tell how much this changed you. And I didn't come here to argue, or shout, or make you feel horrible in any way. I guess you're right… I _did_ come here to try to lay my guilt to rest. I know that everything that happened between us will never, ever be forgotten. I know you hate me, and sometimes I really hate you, too. But then… I remember the times when I used to hear you cry at night…."—I twitched at this— "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I was part of the reason why you cried, and why you are who you are now. I was a bitch, and there's no excuse for that. I just want closure on this part of my life, as I'm sure you do." Now Fiona looked me straight in the eye, and I could see honesty in the set of her face.

I looked up at the dingy ceiling before replying. "I think I've had enough closure conversations, with myself, with Henry, and now with you. I think it's enough for you when I say I know you're sincere about this. But what you already know is I can't ever forgive any of you. You're going to have to live with that. Wonderful people with a heart of gold would be able to, but I'm not one of those people."

Fiona opened her mouth to say something, but I rushed on, determined to get all my jumbled thoughts about this straightened out. "What's done is done. The more you think about it, the sadder you'll get. Just leave it alone, and you'll get your closure."

Another silence stretched out, and again it was Fiona who broke it. "I guess you're right." She hesitated and looked away before speaking again. "You're the exact kind of person Sirius Black would fall for, you know that? I should have known. Maybe I knew all along that I never had a chance."

Before I could respond to the jealous tone in her voice, she had already headed for the exit. "This is goodbye."

"For good," I added. She nodded at me, and then opened the door. With a swish of her blonde hair, she was gone.

I went back up to my room calmly, already pushing her conversation into the back of my mind. It wouldn't do for me to start dwelling on everything right now… or else I knew I'd start crying over everything that could have been.

ll----ll

There were no more surprise meetings with my so-called family. Thank God. Now they were totally and completely out of my life. But seeing as it was only a few weeks until the start of the new school year, I kept on seeing several familiar faces around. I ran into Gideon and Fabian Prewett one day, and skillfully avoided Severus Snape on another day. A much more pleasant surprise waited me one day when I stepped out of my room and made my way down the stairs.

"Remus? What are you doing here?" I gaped openly. He was just sitting there, drinking some butterbeer and reading the newspaper. I hadn't expected to see him here. Reflecting upon that, I wondered why. Remus was a wizard and perfectly entitled to come here… but he just didn't seem like the type to go out much.

He looked up and smiled at me, and I noted that although his eyes were tired, they were also crinkled up in a hidden laugh. "Hey, Faye! I didn't know you were here!"

"Oh… well, I sort of… live here," I muttered, running a hand through my hair.

"Really?" Remus asked, inspecting me closely. "That's… new."

"Yeah," I sighed, slumping into a seat next to him. "So what are you doing here?"

"Oh, just reading some stuff, relaxing," he said, waving his hand. We conversed for a while on little, everyday affairs while I reveled in the fact that this calm, down-to-earth person could be such good friends with Sirius Black and James Potter, the two most mischievous boys known in Hogwarts. During a brief lull in our conversation, Remus suddenly leaned forward and regarded me with a hopeful eye, as if he'd just thought of something. "Listen, you need a better place to stay that this"—he waved a hand around, indicating the Leaky Cauldron— "residence?"

Startled, I sat back in my chair. "Well… that depends."

"See, I have a friend who has a pretty nice flat near here, and he's a right old slob. Can't keep anything neat to save his life. So he's been looking for a… uh… maid. Nothing big, just cleaning up and making three square meals a day. And there's free board involved. Just for a couple of weeks, until he gets settled in his new place." Remus said all this quickly and eagerly.

Free board! The idea was like heaven. God knows how much money I spent everyday living in the Leaky Cauldron, money that could be used for other things, like the savings for an apartment of my own, and St. Mungo's bills…. It would save me tons! If this person could do that for me… well then I'd put up with him even if he were someone like _Sirius_. Or even worse, Sirius himself!

"When can I see the house?" I asked excitedly. Remus looked heartily relieved, for some reason, and he made a great show of looking at his watch.

"Well… I'm free right now, so I can take you there. Unless you have something to do," he said.

I quickly ran over my schedule in my mind. My modeling shoot wasn't for another three hours, and Florean had let all his staff off for yet another random vacation day (not that I was complaining). And I was going to visit Melanie in the late evening…. But I had been planning to actually get my school supplies. _Ah, the school supplies can wait_, I told myself. "No, I'm free. Let's go!"

Remus was smiling hard. "Alright. Have you learned Apparation yet?"

I sighed regretfully. "No time."

"Well, I'll just Apparate us both, don't worry about it," he said brusquely, suddenly very business-like. "Give me your hand."

I did as I was told and experienced a moment of ear-popping darkness before I stumbled out of the eerie place. Stumbling over my feet, I grabbed onto Remus's shoulder before I could fall flat on my face.

"Sorry," I gasped. "Never experienced that before."

"It's quite all right," he assured me.

I grimaced at him before looking around to catalogue my surroundings. I was in front of a small but comfortable-looking flat with neat hedges and large windows. It didn't look too bad—it was certainly not as dingy as the Leaky Cauldron appeared to be.

"The idea is to actually go see the interior of the house," Remus said, flicking my shoulder.

"Thanks for pointing that out, Mr. Obvious," I laughed.

We entered the house—Remus even had the key with him—and I was pleased with what I saw. It was small, yes, but comfortable. And the mess scattered across the rooms only gave it an appealing, lived-in look. Remus led me to the room where I would supposedly be staying in.

"This is great," I breathed, looking around me. The room wasn't horribly cramped at all. In fact, it would have held all my possessions and have adequate space for drawers and a bed. "When can I meet the owner?"

Remus, for some reason, squirmed uncomfortably. "Um… soon. Listen, he trusts me, and he said that when I find someone suitable, they can move in without his say-so."

I looked at him and smiled. If I moved in today, then it would be one less day to pay for at the Leaky Cauldron. "So when can we do this?"

I ignored the little voice in my head telling me that I was rushing into things. Hello! Free rent!

**--**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! So… guess who the owner is! Guess, guess, guess! **

**Anyway… on to the thanks…. **

**Radiant:** Yes, I'm sorry, it might happen. But thanks for being understanding about it! Thanks for all your reviews! **Fairy of Obsession: **Thank you so much for your review of Hidden Flames as well. I liked reading your opinions about my characters. I know the whole realistically unromantic thing with Faye and Sirius can really get to people… but I'm glad you understand! Hehe, I'm glad you liked the sleep scene… I planned it out with my sister when she couldn't sleep because our mom took over her bed… xD **Dreams of darkness. Bond4154: **Yeah… everybody gets tired of the arguments… xD Thanks for your review! **LMTran. MSE. Larien Galathil. Fires-of-Ember: **Thank you. Her mother's death will play a larger role later. Melanie is going to stay in St. Mungo's. **Bunny of Despair: **I like your penname! XD **Person: **Had Faye died, her name would be in the newspaper. Here I'm hazarding an assumption: that newspapers would release names for witches and wizards but not muggles. **Arano Honou. Rupertissexy. Kadasa-Mori. Marija. Midnight-fox-55: **Did you like it? xD **can'tburnme: **Lol! Thanks for your concern! Haha. **The Egyptian Sand Quill. AvidReader. Justxforxfun: **I'll just let the suspense kill you for a little longer… haha! **Snowflake Prongsette: **Whoa… really? I'm really honored! **The REAL cheese monkey. Down0with-love. Vanessa-Black and Zabini. Fall of the angels: **Thank you. I'm glad you liked the twist with her mother… it has been planned for so long and is actually more important than you might think xD **Flamestar. Xaien. tricia luksich - now AARDVARK:** Lol! You'll be seeing that hate before long! (hopefully) **Tina: **Thank you! You really made me glad that I put in effort in this story! Thank you, thank you, thank you! After I read your review, I went on a major writing spree xD **SwimmerGirl. Aztecgold882. madpoet08. Torri-Chiobie. Amber: **yeah, I don't like that validation thingy xD. **Chibi. Lainia26. No More Words**: eh… A Fossil in the Mud is in yet another block. I don't know when it'll be updated. Sorry! **Starsweepforme. Saxifrage: **Yay! I love reading your reviews! Faye's in denial about her need for Sirius xD. Melanie is in St. Mungo's, since she does have magical relatives. As for your question about Fiona… and your opinion of Henry, for that matter… well, I wanted to let my writing actually express it. I wanted to show that so many other people have their own problems and sufferings, do you get where I'm going with this? I'm sorry I can't implement your idea… but I did have fun fantasizing about it xD I love the Sirius action figure! It's the best present yet xD And yes, I did draw the picture on my profile xD **Selenes Song. Sam. RueNeko. **Aha! You spotted that bit of foreshadowing! Faye's mother is another sign of… well, I can't say! Hehe. **Me. Aubreianna. Charmed. HazelNutChocolate: **I spent forever waiting in line for the HP book! I didn't actually like this one a lot, though. **Goldfish682. Massie. 404. Randomisation. Vanatheeveryoung: **Lol! Well, Sirius is back here… but he'll be more important later!

**Ah… that took a long time xD Anyway, I just wanted to say that I MIGHT be taking a break from Firestorm. Sometimes I just get it, sometimes I don't… and a break might be just the thing to help me get it more xD Sorry! **


	3. Chapter Two: Snap Out of It

SUMMARY: What with financial troubles, a cousin close to death, and the pressure of doing well with school... I really thought life was as bad as it could get. But obviously, my friend and sort of enemy just have to help me boost up my standards.

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**---Chapter Two: Snap Out of It---**

**-- **

I tossed my suitcase into my small room. Luckily I didn't have that many possessions, so one trip back to the Leaky Cauldron was all that was required to bring all my things over. Remus came huffing in a moment later, dragging my heavy trunk behind him.

"Thanks," I said, patting him on the back. "You're a real pal."

"I hope being a great pal comes with certain benefits like fanning and giving me a drink," he replied.

"Don't be silly." I laughed as I checked my watch. "We don't have time for that. I have to be back at Diagon Alley for my sho—job in an hour. You want to walk me back there?"

"What?" he sputtered.

"Well… because I'll need to be able to walk back here, won't I? I can't Apparate yet, so I'll need to know the way," I said, shrugging.

"Oh… well, that makes sense."

Suddenly struck by how rude, selfish, and presumptuous I was being, I hastened to add, "I'm sorry. You don't need to. You probably have other things to do. Maybe if you could just give me some directions…?"

"No, it's fine," he assured me. So we started out for Diagon Alley on foot, making lighthearted chatter along the way. Remus was surprisingly easy to talk to, and his voice was just as easy to listen to. Smooth, gentle, quiet… it didn't grate on my ears at all. I regretted that I hadn't taken the chance to get to know him better during my sixth year at Hogwarts. A pity. I could tell he'd be a wonderful friend.

"Remus?" I asked on a sudden whim.

"Hm?"

"Is Siri… ously thinking about what you're going to do once you get out of school m-making you depressed?" I caught myself from making a mistake. It wouldn't do for me to be asking after Sirius.

Remus looked at me funny, a frown on his face battling with a small smirk on his mouth. It was as if he knew I was about to ask about Sirius, but something kept him from laughing.

"Yeah…. I don't know what to do… I'll be happy with any sort of job, I guess." He shrugged, looking particularly melancholy.

"What? You'll settle for anything that comes your way? I didn't expect that of you." I laughed. I realized this was a mistake when he looked away.

"Most people don't," he muttered.

I felt as if someone—namely Remus—had slapped me in the face. Why was it that I could never say something _right_ for a change? Something that wouldn't offend and wouldn't send a nice person like Remus into a brooding silence.

"I'm sorry. I must have offended you," I offered quietly after a moment. "These days… I just don't think before I speak."

"These days?" Remus turned back to me with a faint smile. "You mean you aren't like that normally?"

I smiled back at him because he was right, though he meant it in the nicest possible way. Before I could say something, however, I bumped into someone. Because we had been turning a corner, I hadn't noticed.

"Sorry." I seemed to be saying that a lot today. It irked me in a rather irrational way. It seemed rather unfair that I was saying I was sorry in such a humble way; I wasn't used to it.

"Faye," an all-too-familiar voice said, sounding slightly surprised.

"Sirius." I inclined my head slightly, only to see him exchange a significant glance with Remus before smiling cheerily at me.

"What are you doing, tramping around with Remus?" Sirius asked in a fake, wounded tone.

"W-we're going…"—what could I say? Something that wouldn't sound the wrong way! But what?—"fishing." I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Both Sirius and Remus looked at me strangely, and Sirius even went as far as to touch my forehead with the palm of his hand.

I took a hasty step back, and the corners of his mouth deepened in amusement.

"Well… catch some big fish then. I'm heading home," Sirius declared. Here he glanced at Remus yet again! What was it…? Were these two in on some sort of secret job, trying to communicate through significant glances how best to get rid of me? I shook these tiresome thoughts out of my head, instead opting to concentrate on the help that Sirius had offered to me a few days ago.

"Wait…. Sirius… remember what you said the other day?" I asked. To my embarrassment, I squeaked on the word "remember."

"Yeah," he said slowly, his eyes stabbing into me. I looked away, feeling too open by meeting his eyes.

"Um… well, does the offer still stand?" I was very aware of Remus's presence and Sirius's intense stare as well the small smile playing around the corner of his mouth.

Sirius grinned widely just as I quickly glanced at him to see his reaction; I averted my eyes. His smile was too breathtaking to look at, damn him. But I saw his hand reaching up… and he tugged on one of my curls. "I'll tell you more about it the next time we see each other," he promised. With that said, he flounced off down the street, whistling as he went.

Remus didn't say anything about it, though he was smiling in a suspicious way. We didn't have that much more to walk… and once we reached the Leaky Cauldron I bade him a thanks and goodbye.

Remus said, "Try to get home earlier to meet the owner, alright?"

"Wait, you never told me his name—" But Remus had already Disapparated with a pop.

Damn him and his ability to Disapparate. Huffing angrily, I made my way down to Madame Mae's Fashions, where another torture session would commence.

ll----ll

I rubbed my eyes and then lifted my face to the sky. It was a dark blue; my shoot had lasted until late evening. Recalling what Remus had said to me about meeting the owner of the flat, I felt a twinge of apprehension. It was a good thing that I was going to see Melanie first.

My mood dropped yet another notch. Even though I went as often as I could, my visits didn't _do_ anything for her. Melanie didn't even know. And to my shame, there was a small part of me that kept on insisting that I should stop visiting, stop bothering…. After all, every time I saw her, a fresh bout of terrible emotions assaulted me, and nightmares about the Death Eater attack plagued my dreams. It hurt to see her. Something inside me ached and refused to stop aching for a long time after I removed myself from Melanie's room. I didn't want to deal with it anymore.

_Some guardian I'd make_, I thought bitterly. It hadn't even been a month and I was already starting to chicken out of seeing her. I was tired of my job, tired of my life… tired of _her_ and the things she made me remember and the responsibility.

Once I reached St. Mungo's and submitted to all their routine safety checks, I made my way to the fourth floor and peeked into the ward where I knew Melanie was situated. My heart clenched painfully, a feeling that was all too familiar to me. I quietly slipped into the room and sank into a chair next to Melanie's bed, keeping my eyes well away from her still figure all the time.

I opened my mouth to talk, but there was nothing to say. Melanie couldn't hear me anyway. The noises—cries, screams, shouts, footsteps, etc—outside the ward served as a wonderful distraction from Melanie.

When I finally dragged my eyes up to Melanie's face… I felt it again. The burning feeling of rage coupled along with an overwhelming sense of loneliness and helplessness. She had lost weight; it was obvious. And there was a long cut on her forehead, a product of some sort of Dark spell—that obstinately refused to heal… I knew that if I were to lift up the blanket, I would see more injuries like that. Her skin was pale… so pale, and her cheeks looked unhealthily hollow.

Like every time I saw her, a sense of reality crashed down on me. I was never going to see Tracy and David again. Melanie might be handicapped for life. I was facing financial troubles that would see me turn forty before I was twenty. The rage inside me wouldn't let me forget my mistake of the day: acting normally around Remus.

How could I pretend so well? Talking with Remus had just been so easy… too easy. It was like none of this ever happened, like Tracy, David, and Melanie meant nothing to me!

But… if I didn't pretend… then people would give me that pitying gaze that I abhorred. It'd be better if they were in pain, just like me, trying to find some reason to keep going.

At this thought, I was filled with a self-disgust so great that I wanted to rip myself apart. I felt a tingling in my hand, but ignored it. What was wrong with me? I wanted one thing… and I wanted the complete opposite as well! Why did I want others to go through what I was going through, just so I would feel better about my pain…?

Why did I leave Andrew in California with only one measly, reserved note that didn't cover half of the things I could have told him?

Why hadn't I owled Grace?

I was reduced to a pathetic weakling.

Except… Melanie still needed this pathetic weakling. And I couldn't let her down. I'd let down enough people in my life… I didn't need to add more. I leaned forward and grasped Melanie's unresponsive hand in my own.

"Please… be all right. I'm going to do everything I can to handle this… help you. I promised your parents. I won't let you down. In return… you can't let me down. You have to live… you _have_ to!" I said desperately.

Melanie didn't respond, of course. I don't know why I still expected her to revive at my words… all those cheesy dramas on TV were lies, all lies. I kept a silent vigil at her side until I vaguely noted that I still had to meet the owner of the flat, and it was already close to ten.

Giving Melanie's hand one last squeeze, I whispered, "Please don't be disgusted with me."

I left St. Mungo's with a heavy heart. But I knew it would be over soon… the pain would be swallowed up by the void inside me.

Maneuvering through the dark streets was quite a challenge, and I found that I had to backtrack several times while finding my way back to the flat. There were moments when I was sure that I couldn't find it again… but then I stumbled along a vaguely familiar road and ended up in front of the building. I remembered the windows.

Now… if only I could remember which number was the right apartment. Was it 427 or 428? Damn.

Rubbing my temples, I decided to take a chance. I tentatively knocked on 428, wondering if the owner would be mad at such a late wake-up. Whoever was inside was obviously surprised, and I heard a thump and a bunch of swear words. Perhaps this was the wrong apartment… I contemplated moving away before he answered the door. But—too late.

The door swung open, and I found myself staring at a old, shriveled up man with white hair. Startled, I blinked at him, and he blinked back. He was obviously waiting for me to speak, which was only fair since I had come banging on his door at eleven at night, _and_ this probably wasn't the right flat—he looked so confused.

"Um… were you the one looking for a new maid?" I asked embarrassedly. God, I had to kill Remus for not telling me who the hell the owner was!

The old man looked at me dumbly and shook his head. But then his face split into a toothy grin, and he regarded me leeringly.

"Oh, okay. Sorry to bother you." I turned to go, but then he spoke up.

"That's all right. I guess I _could_ use a maid like you around," he cackled.

Ew.

Now that was disgusting. Lecherous old men roaming around… ew.

He wasn't even rich! How did he expect anyone to take him up on his offer? Ew.

I walked down the hall and around the corner near the stairs, waiting for the door to close before peeking out cautiously to go try 427. It wouldn't do if that dirt clod knew where I'd be.

It was precisely now that a realization struck me. I could have just stuck in the key that Remus had given me and see if it would work! But no… I just had to forget that I could think and go knocking on the door. Disgusted at myself, I took the key out of my bag and fitted it into 427's keyhole. It swung open silently, and I entered the dimly lit flat.

I felt as if I were intruding. Where in the world was the owner? I didn't want to go and screw up my first impression by having him mistake me for a burglar of some sort and smash something over my head. Or spell me.

Damn it! I didn't even know if he was a Muggle or not!

Remus had to die….

Though it was partly my fault for not even _asking_! God, how stupid was I going to get before I stopped regressing?

"Hello?" I called. "Um… this is Faye Prewitt. The new"—I grimaced—"maid."

The lump on the couch that I had previously mistaken for a pile of blankets stirred. A head of black, tousled hair popped out, and I found myself staring at…

…Sirius Black's face.

For a moment, neither of us moved. An alarming sense of unreality swooped over me. This could _not_ be happening.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" I managed to get out. "You broke in, didn't you? Have you been stalking me!"

He ogled at me, still obviously sluggish from sleep. "I live here!"

My jaw must have dropped to the ground by now. I couldn't register this information. If this flat was Sirius's…

Then that meant that I was working for Sirius. I was his maid. I was effing living with him!

"You—you…" I struggled for words.

"Yes, it's me." Sirius actually had the audacity to smirk at me before sitting up and stretching languorously. He didn't seem surprised at all. This thought made another piece click. I had been set up! Remus's "good friend" had been none other than Sirius! Why hadn't I thought of it?

"You—I can't live with—with you," I sputtered.

"Why not? I need someone to clean up… and the board's free! Isn't that what you're looking for?" Grinning, he stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I'm beat. We'll talk more in the morning when you… calm down a bit. Oh, and remember to be ready with breakfast!"

With that said, Sirius walked over to a door and disappeared behind it.

Calm down? That bloody git had set me up, and he wanted me to _calm down_? I had to… do something about this. First on my list: kill Remus. And then, of course, move out.

But a pang of doubt and uncertainty struck me. Would I gain anything by moving out? No. I would have to go back to the Leaky Cauldron and waste money for the few weeks we had before school started when Sirius was offering a free place to stay. And hadn't I made myself a promise to give Sirius's "help" a chance? And… this was his offer, though he'd gone about it in a roundabout, sneaky way.

Taking a deep breath, I knew I had reached a grudging decision. Whatever my thoughts of Sirius… he _was_ trying to help, and I needed help. I rubbed my eyes rather angrily before sneakily opening doors to see which one was my room. I could deal with this. It wouldn't be that different from school anyway, right? I would deal with this… one freaking step at a time.

Starting in the morning.

_Remus. I am going to kill you and feed your bones to a hippogriff!_

ll----ll

"Faye! Wake up! Is this how you're going to go about on your first day?"

I groggily opened my eyes, Sirius's voice loud in my ears.

"I haven't had breakfast yet, and I'm hungry."

"Go to hell," I mumbled into the pillow.

Then something shoved me over and over again. "Why won't you make me any-y-y-y-y-y-y?"

I growled in frustration. Why couldn't he make his own bloody breakfast?

"You're my maid, remember?"

Oh. Right. _That_.

With a groan and a monumental force of will, I threw off my warm blankets and sat up—only to fall back down to languish in pain after my head collided with Sirius's.

"What the fuck!" I swore, swiping away tears of pain from my eyes. "What do you want?"

"Breakfast."

I resentfully looked up at Sirius's all-too-happy grin. This was already turning out to be a bad, bad decision. Horrible mistake. Stupid blunder. I threw my blankets off of myself and stalked out into the kitchen, where I stopped dead, realizing—for the first time—that I couldn't cook. I had never cooked anything by myself before. I didn't know how to handle myself in a kitchen!

But I couldn't let Sirius and his big, fat, stupid smirk know that.

Sirius sauntered over to his couch and flopped down with a sigh while I went into the kitchen and began pulling out random pots and pans. An awkward silence followed.

Sirius was the one to break it, since I was too immersed in trying to figure out what to make. "So… how was your summer?"

"It was…" I trailed off when I remembered he _knew_. "Fine."

"Really." His voice clearly showed his skepticism.

"Yes, really." Digging around the cabinets for some oil, I spotted some bread and decided to make toast. If I could. Fifteen minutes later I was frantically scraping some burnt eggs off the bottom of the pan and onto the only _slightly_ burnt bread. I looked at my mess of a breakfast doubtfully, but in the end I decided that Sirius was able to swallow _anything_, judging from the way he ate at Hogwarts.

Resolutely marching out of the kitchen, I plopped Sirius's plate in front of him. Good thing I hadn't made any for myself. It looked… terrible.

Sirius eyed his breakfast before raising his eyebrows at me. "It is the best you can do?"

I looked away, a twisty, uncomfortably feeling worming its way into my gut, and I didn't answer.

"Fine," he sighed. Then I heard a crunch of burnt bread, and I looked up. Sirius was eating the thing! He was eating the disgusting toast I had made, something I wouldn't even do! I watched as he struggled to keep his expression bland. After he was through with about half of it, I decided I couldn't stand it anymore. He was only eating it because he pitied my pitiable cooking skills.

"Don't eat this," I sighed, grabbing the plate away from him. "It tastes like shit. Even I don't want to put you through that."

"How thoughtful of you," he said dryly, swallowing his last bite painfully. "I appreciate it."

"Good," I responded before glancing at the clock situated above the fireplace. "I have to go in half an hour. Get up. I'll clean this place up a bit."

"Naw… I think I'll sit right here and watch you." Sirius settled himself deeper into the couch and propped his feet up against the low table. Rolling my eyes, I bent over to collect some clothes and a blanket from the couch arm and folded it. Then I proceeded to explore the rest of the flat, looking for a closet to put these things away.

"Hey, why don't I take you to work?" Sirius asked after a while, standing up and following me around the apartment. I sighed in annoyance. Oh, joy. Even more time with him.

"No, I'm fine." I turned away from him and hunched a shoulder

"No, really. I want to take you. I need to go out anyways."

"No, it's fine."

"But it'll be faster," he insisted.

"Well, I need exercise!" I snapped.

"No, you don't! Your figure's great!"

"Thanks," I said automatically, used to these comments after modeling. "Wait a second… that's not the point!"

"Great, it's settled, then," Sirius said cheerfully before grabbing up what looked like a set of car keys. "Let's go."

"But I'm not done cleaning—!" Sirius ignored me and grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the door.

"Wait, you have a car? You can drive? But you're not Muggle-born…" I tried to say as we clattered down the stairs.

"I don't need to be."

"Is this legal?" I half-yelled, trying to twist my hand out of his grip.

"Uh… I'm not sure. But does that really matter?" Sirius shrugged a shoulder uncaringly.

"I should think so!" I think my eyes were bugging out by now. We entered the garage.

"Here she is, my hot new ride!" Sirius gestured at a rickety, rusty old car of an indeterminate color. Through the dirty, clouded-up window I could see that the stuffing was coming out of the seats, and there were heaps of stuff lying around in the backseat.

"You expect me to ride in _that_?" I asked, thoroughly unimpressed. "I thought you were rich."

Sirius made a great show of rolling his eyes. "Not _that_ car. It's _this_ motorcycle! What, you expected me to be driving that old dump?" he scoffed. "Never. I, Sirius Black, will _always_ travel in style."

I finally noticed the huge, shining motorcycle sitting in front of the unstable-looking car, and I gasped with amazement. Sirius apparently had good taste.

"Here, pull your jaw up and put this on," Sirius said; I could hear the grin in his voice. He just had one of those voices when anyone could tell if he was smiling or not. He tossed a helmet at me, but instead of putting it on, I hesitantly turned it over in my hands.

"Don't you need one?" I inquired, holding the helmet back out towards him.

"Nope." Sirius whistled cheerfully as he threw one leg over the bike and revved it up and brought it out of the garage. "Come on, get on or you'll be late." I reluctantly put the helmet on and buckled it before climbing on the bike behind Sirius.

"Hold on tight," Sirius instructed a mere second before the bike shot forward. Biting back a shriek, I had to lunge forward and grip his shoulders, which put me in a position too close for comfort. It was better than putting my arms around his waist… but hanging onto his shoulders made me feel distinctly unsafe and apt to fall at any moment.

"Are you sure this is safe?" I yelled into his ear.

"Yeah, don't worry! I've had this baby for a month!" he shouted back. A month. Was that supposed to comfort me? It was then that I remembered the most important part of driving…

"Do you even have a license?" I shouted in panic.

"Why would people need a license to go around and drive? It's perfectly safe from what I've seen! Besides, we don't need licenses of brooms, why should we need them for cars?"

Oh dear God. I was on the back of a motorcycle traveling at an alarming speed, weaving through the line of traffic, with a guy who'd had it for only a month and didn't know what people needed _licenses_ for.

A few nerve-racking close scrapes, sharp turns, and car beeps later, we arrived at the Leaky Cauldron.

"Were you trying to kill me?" I demanded shakily, throwing myself off the bike with wobbly legs. "I can see why you don't have a license! You'd never pass the tests!"

Sirius waved his hand dismissively and said in a smug voice, "What are you talking about? Did you see how much control I had? You thought I wasn't going to make the last corner, but—!"

"Whatever." I cut him off and tossed him his helmet. "Thanks for the ride… I guess."

"Try to be back early," he called after me, "to spend more time trying to make something presentable to eat."

I didn't even turn around to glare at him; it would make that grin I _knew_ was on his face grow wider. Stupid. Just because I couldn't cook for jack shit didn't mean anything. Nothing at all.

"From the way you cook, I'd say you'll have to be back a couple of hours early!" he shouted, a smirk very apparent in his voice.

Some people could be such jackasses.

ll----ll

It was rather amazing to me that I got back to the flat before Sirius did. While I cleaned up, I pondered about Sirius's life, something I found as a welcome distraction from my thoughts. Sirius seemed like the sort to just laze around the house… but I supposed that he had a job. After all, he did live by himself. But he was rich… why would his parents let him live in a small apartment like this? Surely the Blacks could have gotten somewhere better… unless Sirius's parents weren't on very good terms with him.

Upon having reached that conclusion, I wondered for a while what Sirius's true relationship with his family was. I had seldom ever heard him speak of them, and not ever proudly. He himself had never referred to his family's apparent wealth; I had heard that all from others. Perhaps he had some painful experiences with his family. This realization made me feel rather startled in that I'd known him for a year, and even been attached to him for a few months… but I had never bothered to find out. I knew him, his personality and his reactions… but I didn't know anything _about_ him.

For some reason, these thoughts made me feel distinctly uncomfortable with myself. My plan for self-improvement was dashed after all… dashed the moment I'd heard about Tracy and David….

And even worse… I felt a spark of sympathy for Sirius. After all, there had to be something wrong with his family for him to be living alone so soon, and in such a small flat, when he was supposed to be filthy rich. So he was just like me now… no family to go back to. In an obscure way, I was glad he was like me. Not because it must be painful for him or any spiteful reason…. But I was just glad that I didn't feel so alone anymore.

After I finished vacuuming, I decided to try to tackle dinner and make spaghetti. From my explorations of the kitchen, I knew Sirius had the materials… I think. If only I knew all the correct ingredients. But my decision turned out to be a horrible mistake.

When the door opened, announcing the arrival of Sirius, I was frantically trying to keep the spaghetti sauce from burning, though it already was and was giving off a disgusting odor, a sure sign that I had done something wrong. At the same time, the noodles I was cooking had boiled over the rim because the fire was too big, and the harsh sizzling sound from the water hitting the hot stove coupled along with the fire alarm made a very alarming scene. Sirius obviously thought I was on the way to burning the apartment down, because he rushed into the kitchen and waved his wand around.

A jet of water struck me square in the face as Sirius attempted to quench whatever fire appeared to be on my face. I choked in surprise, spitting out the water that had made its way into my mouth, and I automatically let go of the pot holding the ruined spaghetti sauce to cover my face, which turned out to be yet another bad idea because it dropped (no kidding!) onto what could only be Sirius's foot, if his yelp of pain was anything to go by.

"What the fuck? What have you been screwing with!" he bellowed, once more aiming the jet of water at my face.

When would he realize that _my face wasn't on fire_?

"Sirius!" I gurgled. "Stop shooting it at my face!"

When the water wasn't removed, I stumbled forward blindly, trying to knock Sirius's wand out of his hand. I think I stuck my foot into the spaghetti sauce, and I catapulted over, knocking into Sirius. I was roughly picked up and shoved aside, and then a huge sizzling sound announced the extinguishing of the open flame on the stove.

There was a moment of ringing silence (the fire alarm was still going) as Sirius and I catalogued how bad I'd screwed up. I cringed in shame and opened my mouth to apologize, but to my surprise, Sirius started laughing.

I stared down at myself, realizing how ridiculous I looked. I had put on an apron—I had no idea why Sirius was in possession of an apron—over my street clothes, and my foot was stuck inside the pot of spaghetti sauce, which was still rather warm. Something tickled in the back of my throat, and it emerged as a full-throated laugh. It felt so weird, after not laughing for so long.

Then a knock on the door interrupted us. Sirius limped over and opened it, with me following behind him as soon as I pried the pot off my foot. The old man from next door stood there with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Are you two young ones quite all right?" he said with concern.

"Yeah, fine," Sirius managed, shooting me a Look. "Just an accident in the kitchen."

The old man pursed his lips in disapproval and then looked at me. I suppressed a groan. His lecherous, disgusting side wasn't about to surface, was it?

As a matter of fact, it was.

"You can still change your mind and be my maid, if you like, dear," he cackled. Sirius rolled his eyes angrily at this and slammed the door, saying, "Go home, Mr. Frangle."

"Is he always like that?" I asked Sirius, who was scowling and still managed to look handsome white scowling.

"Yeah. Don't pay attention to that crazy geezer."

I laughed again, until I realized that I was enjoying myself. In Sirius's company. I hadn't even thought of Tracy, David, Melanie, Voldemort, and all those other people while I'd been preoccupied with cooking. How could I forget it that easily? It was supposed to be my responsibility, and I was slacking. Again.

I bowed my head and said, "Sorry, Sirius. I'll go clean it up," before hurrying to do just that.

**-- **

**A/N: Ahem. So. I'm back! D I know, it's been a horribly long time. / I heard there are no review responses allowed now, so I can't give individual replies. Sorry! I'll have to go see how to work the new way I haven't tried yet. xD So... it's been hard trying to get back into the writing habit, but I thankfully have a pushy sister who's blackmailing me into getting this done! Good for you guys, bad for me. xD Well, anyway, I'm glad I got this chapter done before Christmas, even though it's shorter and probably not up to par. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially those who encouraged me without pressuring me! I love you guys! Happy Holidays! I hope everyone gets loads of presents! **


	4. Chapter Three: Motorcycle Ride

Chapter Three: Motorcycle Ride 

--

My days at Sirius's house were becoming almost… normal to me. Sirius didn't bug me as much as I'd thought he would, and his presence wasn't insufferably arrogant or egotistical anymore. In fact, most of the time he was so pleasant that it was hard to believe this was the same guy who'd I'd spent most of my sixth year hating with the heat of a thousand suns. It was so impossible to believe at times that I was sure it was really Remus masquerading behind this pretend-pleasant Sirius by means of the Polyjuice Potion—but then, of course, Remus wouldn't be Remus anymore.

Though at times… Sirius could still regress and turn back into his annoying self. But despite his little relapses, I still managed to get along well—famously!—with Sirius. I could almost, and I stress almost, feel comfortable with him.

After all, he made me forget. For a while, at least.

But today, Sirius said he would have people over. And I knew who those "people" were going to be.

"Sirius!" I heard a voice roar a second after a thump from the direction of the fireplace. "Padfoot, mate, I'm here! I'm here to check out how you're managing with a maid to keep your mess from overgrowing and taking over this place!"

I knew it was too much to hope that Sirius had kept quiet about my situation to his friends.

I stuck my head out of the cabinet I was currently reorganizing to glare over at James Potter and his flashing glasses and toothy grin. "Always a pleasure to hear your sweet voice, Potter."

James's attention snapped, unfortunately, to me. "Ah, you must be Sirius's maid! Knowing him, you're probably doing more than housework around here!" James winked at me, and I scowled at the implication of his words but went back to organizing the shelf.

"James!"

Finally, the arrival of Sirius to draw attention away from me.

"When's Remus getting here?" James asked.

Oh, joy. The whole crowd was coming over. However, this did provide the perfect opportunity for me to choke-slam Remus for not telling me about the owner of the house. I slammed the cabinet door closed and stalked into my own room, but Sirius's voice called me back.

"Oi, maid!"

I obstinately turned my back on him.

"Ugh, fine. Faye!"

"What is it?" I asked grumpily, striding over to where Sirius and James were lounging on the couch whose cushions I had just arranged and putting their feet up on the low table I had just wiped clean.

"Could you be a dear and fix us something to eat?" Sirius flashed me a smile, all warm and melting.

"Why do you even bother to ask?" I snapped at him. "All you have to do is order."

"Do you think our Siri-poo is that heartless?" James got up and slung his arm over my shoulder, to my annoyance. "He's obviously too obsessed about—!"

His words were abruptly cut off by Sirius's elbow slamming into his gut. Sirius pulled James off me with a scowl on his face and plopped him down on the couch, where James sat with a smug grin on his face. I decided to ignore them as I went into the kitchen and set about making toast. After some practice, I'd finally managed to perfect my toast-making skills to the point where the bread didn't even burn anymore.

Too bad it was the only thing I could make.

"Here." I placed two plates in front of James and Sirius. "Happy now?"

"Where's Remus's?" James asked, a little too innocently.

I clenched my jaw. "I'll go make it."

Maybe I could poison it. Just a little.

It wasn't too long before Remus decided to grace us with his appearance. He popped into the living room right on top of Sirius, who then howled with disgust and threw him off a little too violently.

"Ouch!" Remus yelped as he was satisfactorily thrown onto the ground. "What was that for?"

"For landing in my lap," Sirius replied sourly.

"I was tired, so I Disapparated a little off," Remus replied grouchily. "Anyways… I thought we were going to James's house, since he has a Quidditch field and all…"

My eyes nearly popped out in envy. James was so rich that he had his own Quidditch field? Damn him! Perhaps I could somehow weed some money out of him….

"Oh, that's because I wanted to see how good of a maid Faye is," James laughed, once again propping his feet up onto the table. "She's actually not that bad, especially if you can just sit around and watch her work. She's got nothing on Evans, of course, but…"

"But what?" I asked savagely, sick of hearing him talk about me. Please just leave me alone!

"Nothing."

I held my breath in, trying to stay calm. Calm and collected. Yes. Perfect. Now for Remus.

"Remus." I nodded at him and was pleased to see that he squirmed uncomfortably, a guilty expression on his face.

"Faye. How are you doing?" He smiled a big, fake smile.

"Oh… fine. Just fine. Except for that teensy little fact that you lied to me and lured me into Sirius's evil lair where he's chained me as his slave for the rest of eternity!" Perhaps I was being a little exaggerating, but… still! I'd have thought Remus wouldn't have tricked me like that, using his innocent face and honest air…

"Evil lair?" Sirius said indignantly.

Remus only forced a grin onto his face before pointing to Sirius. "It was all his idea! Don't blame me! He made me promise to do it! Yeah… so it's not really my fault! It's Sirius's!"

Sirius jerked a bit and glared at Remus. "Let's go," he said sharply. James put on a pleading face, but Sirius obviously was unaffected by it, thank god. "Bye, Faye! Take care of the house and be a good girl! By the way, Mr. Frangle might be lurking around, so be careful of that, too."

"Yeah, whatever," I said grumpily, turning my back to them. "Get out of here and have fun at you private Quidditch field."

"I'm glad you don't sound bitter about it," James called over his shoulder before Sirius shoved him into the fire.

I obstinately remained staring at the wall. Once they were all gone, I sighed and slowly turned back around, seeing an empty room. And somehow, even though it was what I had wanted, that sight depressed me. I didn't want to see an empty room; it was just more proof that I was, in the end, alone. Without any family left. And school was starting soon. I wouldn't be able to work. I was going to go into debt and everything…. But after school ended… I'd have nowhere to go. But I wanted to go to Auror school…. But I needed to take care of Melanie. But… but… there were so many 'but's' to deal with.

Suddenly, an inexplicable surge of rage welled up in me. I slammed the dirty dishes in the sink, and I didn't wash them. I stormed off into my little room. So unfair! It was all unfair!

But every rage had its limits. After sitting for quite a while, doing nothing but fuming, I decided I had to get out of the house. I didn't want to be reminded that I was practically indebted to Sirius….

ll----ll

There was only a week left before we went back to school. I drearily cleaned up after Sirius for the second time that day, feeling like a servant. Or worse, a mom. Outside, the sky was rapidly changing from the orange of the sunset to dark blue, and the moon was up. It looked like such a nice night to go for a walk. Sirius, who was sitting around fiddling with his wand, looked up at me intently for a moment.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You look like you want to go outside."

"No, I want to stay inside with you for the rest of my life," I said sarcastically. But of course, the sarcasm just slid right past his shield of self-confidence.

"Then let's go for a ride."

"A ride?" I repeated suspiciously. "On your motorcycle?"

"Yeah, sure!" Sirius laughed at whatever it was that I couldn't keep off my face. "It'll be fun. Have I told you that it can fly?"

"You—you charmed it so it would fly?" I choked out. "But… that's illegal!"

"Come on, Faye." Sirius rolled his eyes. "As long as nobody finds out… who cares? Besides, its not technically illegal to tamper with stuff… as long as you don't intend to use it, it's fine."

"But you are planning to use it!" I pointed out.

Sirius sighed in exasperation. "You want to go have fun or not? You could stay here and clean up a bit more… or have some fun."

Fun…. Fun seemed almost like a betrayal.

"Great, it's settled." Once again Sirius lunged forward and grabbed my hand, upon which I tried to tug it away. But still he ended up dragging me down the stairs and into the garage.

Not again! I had hated the insecure feeling while I was riding the bike before. It felt like I was going to fall off any moment.

"Sirius, I don't think…" I began.

"Good. Don't think. Just do," he said, plopping his helmet onto my head and actually leaning over me to buckle the straps.

I tried again. "I think…"

"Faye." Sirius turned around to look me in the eye. "You're allowed to have fun. No one says you can't. Besides, what's the harm in a little motorcycle ride? And when was the last time you did anything fun for yourself?"

I looked away. "I was too busy cleaning up your mess."

"Well then consider this as repayment." He reached out and caught my arm, and I reluctantly succumbed to his insistence. I felt a bit like a doll, always lugged around to other's preferences. And just what was so fun about a motorcycle anyway?

"Hang on," Sirius ordered over his shoulder once we were settled onto his bike. "You'll honestly like this."

"Whatever," I mumbled. But it was different this time. Sirius revved up the engine and we shot out of the garage. Then, as we were traveling along a dark road, I felt a smooth change under me. I looked down, but my eyes refused to adjust to the darkness.

"Sirius, what did you do?" I shouted into his ear.

He didn't reply. After awhile, I began to notice other changes. Like how we were just about at the height of the streetlight. And how the trees didn't seem so tall anymore.

"We… we really are flying!" I gasped.

"No, we're on a motorcycle that's flying," he replied over the rush of the air, an evident grin in his voice.

Laughing, I punched his back. "This is illegal!" I reminded him.

"So we won't get caught!"

Sirius was unbelievable… but I found I didn't care. It felt good, riding this flying motorcycle, with the cold wind slapping my face and the roar of air filling my ears. It felt free. Closing my eyes, I rested my head against Sirius's back and just let myself feel the freedom. Enjoy the sense of flying away from problems. I opened my eyes when the almost oppressing rush of the wind lessened perceptibly. We were landing.

"Why are we here?" I asked as soon as I took in our surroundings. Sirius had obviously flown this thing a lot, since we were on a thin strip of rocky beach sheltered by jagged rocks on either side, so that people wouldn't be able to see us if there happened to be a road running by this stretch of the coast.

Sirius shrugged as an answer. "Just thought you might like the view."

"It's too dark to see anything." I felt inclined to point out.

I felt rather pleased with myself when Sirius huffed out exasperatedly. "Just… shut up. Don't think."

Even though I would have liked to see how much more frustration Sirius could stand, it wasn't really worth it. Too much effort. Instead, I sat down and stared out into the darkness that was broken by dimly lit stars. Sirius stood silently a way from me—so silently, in fact, that I grew more and more uncomfortable in his presence. Why was it that the few months we hadn't seen each other had changed him so much? Just as it had changed me. We weren't the same people anymore… and I couldn't go on like this, living like this, trying to find words for the feelings I wanted to voice, thinking about ends that never came….

We were there for a long time, and I was almost asleep when Sirius's rustling as he moved around jerked me back to consciousness.

"Eh… what?" I said. I felt a warmth by my shoulder as Sirius sat next to me and shoved me gently.

"You were snoring a bit," he told me.

Even as embarrassment heated my cheeks, a small smile grew on my face. I gave in to temptation and let my head drop onto his shoulder. "I bet you snore louder."

And we stayed like that. The feel of another person… someone tangible, someone like me… the comfort he offered was something I hadn't felt in so long. It was like water in the desert, fire in the winter… it was so much more than what I could ever give. It made me feel small, and insignificant, and unbearably selfish.

I squeezed my eyes closed and ignored the clench in my heart. Even though I knew ignoring it wouldn't make it disappear.

ll----ll

"Wake up, Sirius! We're going to be late!" I yelled, banging on his door. I had already made a scanty breakfast, and packed up my own bags, but I had yet to see Sirius pack his things! Sirius had previously made plans to go over to James's house to stay the night before we all headed back to Hogwarts… and I'd been invited. Though I honestly didn't know what I'd do for the whole days while the Marauders "bonded."

"Don't worry… it's not like something interesting will happen without me," Sirius yawned, slouching out of his room and shooting me a dark look. "And its… SHIT! It's only seven! What in the name of Merlin are you thinking, waking me up this early! James won't even be up!"

I rolled my eyes. "Not everyone sleeps like you do," I retorted. "Besides, you still have to pack everything."

"Already did," Sirius grinned. "I'm so responsible."

"Whatever you say," I said. "Oh, are you sure that it's okay for me to come along? I don't want to intrude…"

"It's fine. I bet James wouldn't even know you were there if you got lost."

I swallowed another pang of jealousy. "Right." I tried not to let Sirius see my face. Since that day on the beach, when I had come so close to crying… Sirius had increasingly put me on edge because of his sudden, uncanny ability to read my face like a book.

* * *

PLEASE READ VERY IMPORTANT! FROM NOW ON, THIS STORY IS DISCONTINUED!

All right, this is it. If any of you have looked at my profile, you'd know that I will not be continuing this story or writing any other fanfic anymore. This chapter is the last, even though it's not quite finished. I'm sorry I'm not going to be writing this or A Fossil in the Mud anymore. It's grown tedious and boring, and it's a constant source of frustration and pressure. I can't say how many times I've looked at your reviews and decided I WOULD try to finish it, so thanks to all those people who left such wonderful reviews! I appreciate all the reviews you guys have left me, and I hoped you all enjoyed this story. I enjoyed writing it in the beginning, but it's been two years, and I lost the urge to finish this. It's partly because of the Mary Sue-ish plot and partly because I've lost interest in the Harry Potter world in general. Please don't send me any emails asking me to finish it. I'm sorry to disappoint you guys, but I just can't write this anymore. No more inspiration, no more ideas. In fact, thinking about this story has been such a burden that I stopped writing for months, as you can see from my lack of updates. I've also decided to focus on something original, which I will be trying to publish in a few years. If I drop these fanfics, I can finally get rid of the pressure and pick up writing again. I really think writing these has improved my knowledge about characterization and storyline, which I'm developing right now.

So it's goodbye to fanfics for good. I won't take these stories down from the site. Hope you guys all have a wonderful summer! Thanks to all of you who supported me through this story, and I'm really sorry to have to leave you all hanging. Happy readings!

P.S. Please don't hate me.


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